Including single people at Christmas
Christmas can be a particularly difficult time for single people. In our 2022 survey, 70% of single people said they found at least some aspects of Christmas hard. 43% said the week between Christmas and New Year is a lonely time.
There are lots of things that churches and individuals can do to make the festive season joyful for the single people in your community. All our ideas come from single Christians themselves…
1. Watch our Christmas webinar
Our Christmas webinar is the best place to start for understanding why Christmas can be a difficult time. It’s based on our 2022 survey and includes lots of practical tips for churches.
If you are single yourself, there are also ideas on how you can be part of the solution and help to welcome others too.
2. Find out who will be on their own
Find out who in your church will be alone over Christmas and ask them what they need. Some people may feel awkward to share they have no one to spend Christmas with, and few would feel comfortable inviting themselves to someone else’s gathering. So reach out and ask, let them know they're cared for.
Don’t forget those who are widowed, single parents whose children may spend Christmas with their other parent, as well as married people whose spouse isn't at home. Bear in mind not all single people want an invitation - some will have plans already or will prefer to have a quiet Christmas at home.
3. Invite someone to join you
Could you invite someone to join you for the day, or for Christmas dinner? Could you encourage others to do the same? This can be explicitly suggested from the pulpit, or discreetly mentioned to families who may be in a position to offer hospitality. Singles tell us this makes a huge difference to their sense of being noticed, cared for and included. You could also connect a group of people who will be on their own to spend the day together.
"One year I was upset to find myself facing Christmas on my own, but I didn’t want to invite myself to anyone's family celebration. However, when a friend told people at church that I was going to be alone, I got several invitations. I had a lovely day with a family from church.’
2022 Christmas Survey
4. Be mindful when planning services
Christmas can a painful time for many single people because of the focus on families and children. It can emphasise their lack of a partner or family and making them feel more alone. This can also be true for couples who don’t have the children they long for; those who’ve lost loved ones; people who’ve experienced a family break-down; full-time carers and many more.
Be mindful of this when planning services and sermons. Acknowledge them in the prayers, include everyone in the service, and perhaps offer an opportunity to light a candle for someone they’ve lost.
5. Hold a simple service over the holidays
While many are glad of a break from church after Christmas morning, this isn't the case for everyone. The sudden stopping of services can leave a gap and take away an important point of connection for single people.
Consider doing something short and low-effort such as morning prayer in church or on Zoom during the 5 days when people will be with their families, so that those on their own have a chance to connect.
6. Keep in touch over the Christmas holidays
Although people may have arrangements for Christmas Day itself, the rest of the festive period can be a quiet and potentially lonely time for those on their own. Those who are housebound or unwell would particularly appreciate a phone call. Encourage church members to keep in contact and consider those who may be on their own. Many single people would welcome an invitation for a walk, film night, board games afternoon or other festive activities.
“I’m lucky that I have family who include me on Christmas Day, but I often find church and life quite lonely around the festive period. As someone who doesn’t have a car, I’m most blessed when people offer me a lift to services. I also appreciate being invited round for a meal or drink in the run up to Christmas.”
2022 Christmas survey
7. Pray for single Christians
We’ve compiled some prayer points for churches on how to pray for single people this Christmas.