How experiences of singleness change with age
Single Christians’ experience of church changes in a major way at the ages of 30, 45 and 60, according to our 2012 research ‘Singleness in the UK church’. We also discovered general trends at different life stages.
It is statistically clear that the ages of 30, 45 and 60 are the change points for single Christians in their expectations and experience of their faith and their churches. The research revealed a number of specific issues for different age groups. In particular, Christians aged <30 and 30-44 say that being on their own has made them struggle with their faith.
We also found some general trends through the four age groups <30, 30-44, 45-59. 60+. Some were expected, such as younger age groups reporting working extra hours to fill in time, and older ages becoming less worried about the future. However, to our surprise the older the age group, the less they felt part of their church family and increasingly think that single people outside the church would have trouble coming.
Known factors that affect different age groups
There are several known factors that are likely to affect single people’s experience of church at different ages:
Age 30: The average age of first marriage in UK is 30. So, someone single will move from being in the majority to being in the minority at this point.
Age 45: The age of 45 has two possible reasons for being distinctive:
Firstly, is it is the time when most women know that they are unlikely to have children.
Secondly, it coincides with men's dip in level of well-being – the so-called “mid-life crisis”.
Age 60: The age of 60 was until recent years the UK retirement age for working women and also reported to be the time when both genders start making preparations for post-working life.
A gradual drift away from emerging, student and town-centre churches
The numbers of single people attending emerging churches/alternative worship and student-focused churches both decline gradually among older single Christians.
However, even in the 60+ group, over 1 in 20 say they attend an emerging church and just under 1 in 20 say they attend a student-focused church.
They also move gradually away from city/town-centre churches, from 5 in 10 to 4 in 10.
Single Christians feel less part of their church community as they get older
Single adult Christians are (on average) positive about feeling part of the church community. This declines over time, however, with a drop at the age of 30.
As single Christians get older they think that single people outside the church find problems going to church just because they are single.
Older age groups increasingly think that married people should take the main lead in addressing needs and issues of singleness. Younger Christians are more likely to think that Christian organisations (such as Single Friendly Church) should take the lead in changing church culture.
Single Christians increasingly feel that their own church can encourage single members by having singles in leadership roles.
Do single Christians feel part of the church community?
General trends through the age groups about singleness
Many single people work extra hours at least once each week to fill in the time, but this steadily decreases with age.
The enjoyment of the freedom to make their own choices reduces over time.
Single Christians become less worried about the future as they get older
Older age groups have fewer problems with self-esteem.
Trends in thinking about marriage
Being married as the expected and accepted lifestyle of the church reduces as people age.
There is also a reported decline in hearing church leaders teach that Christians should only marry those who share their faith.
The older age groups think that the best way to meet potential partners is through organised events and holidays.
Specific issues for different age groups
< 45 years
More than any other age group, Christians aged
In particular the disappointment of being single has caused them to doubt God has a plan for their lives.
It is the age group that says it would help to have more teaching, guidance or study materials to understand their faith in the context of being single.
30-60 years
More Christians aged 30-60 agree than disagree that they feel as if there is a presumption there must be something wrong with them because they are single.
They socialise less than the under 30s and over 60s.
45-60 years
Christians aged 45-60 particularly say that they feel less accepted members of the congregation because they are single.
However, as singles, they do enjoy the aspect of having a more peaceful home life than other age groups do.
They participate in hobbies or sports once a week far less than others.
At the age of 45 and over, more people agree than disagree that the church says it is a family but doesn’t treat singles as family members.
They start to enjoy less the benefits of independence in singleness than those of younger ages.
However, they more report they have fewer problems with self-esteem than younger age groups.
Fewer report that being on their own has made them struggle with their faith.
60+ years
Up to the age of 60, more people agree than disagree that they are worried about the future. This reverses at 60, when more report as being less worried.
The disappointment of being single causing them to doubt God has a plan for their lives also changes, with fewer agreeing with this for the first time through the age groups.
More from the research
Gender differences in experiences of church
The 2012 Research - what do single Christians think about church?