What are the positives of being Christian while single?
Compared with their non-Christian friends, Christians in our 2012 survey said that they had a greater purpose and direction in life with increased well-being, greater social support and release from societal pressures.
In 2012 we conducted a survey on single Christians experience of church and faith. Here are some of the day-to-day positives of being a Christian while single that were consistently mentioned:
a relationship with God
a greater purpose and direction in life
relatively increased well-being
community aspects of the Church family
release from various pressures facing those not professing a Christian faith
Christian friendship and its values.
A relationship with God
Single Christians described having relationship with God in a number of ways. They said that they felt they are not alone because they know or “have” God in their lives. They also believe that God has ‘a plan for my life’ and that God is in control.
'My friends will sometimes say that they are very lonely. I find that as a Christian single person, I know that I am not alone as I have Jesus with me wherever I go.
'I believe that God has a plan for my life, so I'm more positive about being single and having a future being single than non-Christian friends.'
'Having peace and reassurance that God is with me, walking with me, listening to my prayers and unveiling his plan for my life. Whereas my non-Christian friends lack a lot of peace in this area.'
Single Christians said that knowing God provides hope for the future and acts as a guide in their life. They said they talked to and felt God’s presence. The also described God as a protector who provides security, and a healer.
'My faith gives me hope and security for the future, whatever happens.'
'When I'm going through a rough patch, I know God is always there for me and other Christians are around to talk to as well. I know God heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds.'
A greater purpose and direction in life
Single Christians said that their Christian faith gave them a greater purpose and direction for their lives.
'My Christian faith provides a sense of mission and purpose to my life that is not dependent on my relationship status. This gives a wonderful sense of freedom and empowerment that I think people outside of the Church often miss in their lives.'
Relatively increased well-being
There were many comments about how being a Christian while single has greater perceived well-being. People mentioned having contentment and peace compared to non-Christian friends, as well as providing a deeper comfort than earthly friendships can bring. Some also said that they had greater confidence in life, and better self-esteem because their identity is not in their relationship status. Others commented that they are more positive and joyful and less stressed.
'God is my Helper and comfort in ways that friends cannot be. I don't know how non-Christians cope.'
I'd say it affects my self-esteem a little bit less than theirs, because my identity is not in my singleness entirely, it's in who I am as a child of God.'
Church family as community
Single Christians valued the church family for a number of reasons, including the support they get through prayer and practical help (like DIY). They also appreciate being part of a community of people with different ages and backgrounds. This was considered a real asset when compared with the lives of those not professing a Christian faith.
'I do have wonderful Christian friends who really support me in life and ministry and that is a huge comfort and encouragement to me. I don't know how I would cope without them.
'There is always a great Christian community wherever I move to and they embrace me almost like a family member. It would be so difficult to move to a new place if I didn't have such Christian communities and church families.'
'I've got a community of friends around me, who are a really mixed group – from older married couples to younger families with young kids, and other singles my age and younger. I don't think many non-Christians have such a wide and varied friendship group, it's like being part of a big family.'
Release from societal pressures
Christian singles observing their single friends appeared to be thankful that they were released from the pressure of sex in relationships (11%) and of having to be in a relationship.
Others commented on the freedom from society’s expectations of consumerism and the drinking/drugs culture.
Christian friendship and its values
Christian friends were mentioned by 9% of people responding to our survey. They were considered important and being different to the relationship they have with their non-Christian friends.
'There is support that comes from having good friends at church who can pray through things that are difficult in terms of being single.’
'I think that the relationships I have with my single Christian friends are much closer than they would be between non-Christians.'
Some responses were negative
1 in 9 of those we analysed thought there was no difference or it was worse being a Christian while single. Many who described the positives of being a single Christian also had a 'Yes, but…' attached to their answer, which suggests they struggle with aspects of being single and Christian despite the positives mentioned.
'You just feel at the outside looking in with the church – just seeing couples and their families. Everyone is so insular minding their own business. I don't feel that way when I'm at work at all or with my non-Christian friends.'
'I really struggle with this one. I see my non-Christian friends in relationships, with children as single parents. They may not have lived life the biblical way, but God seems to have blessed them in ways that I have never been blessed. It can be very difficult to find the positives in daily life. Maybe my positives will come in eternity.'se we are used to it!'
More from the research
Our 2012 Research - what do single Christians think about church?